Introduction: Redneck Key Rack With Options
Just so we are all on the same page, I am not trying to sell you a key rack, not at the moment. But I did write this as if it was for an add for one. I thought it was more humorous that way. So let me know what you think of it.
This offering is for a basic redneck key rack with multiple standard options and several deluxe options.
This basic model is made from a nice well weathered piece of oak wood. That means it’s rustic looking because it has been sitting outside in the rain for many years cause the wood shed was full.
This particular board was taken from a pallet so since there are only so many boards on a pallet the supply of this type of wood is limited.
This is from a limited stock special one of a kind material that may not be available anymore once the stock is depleted. So get your orders in before they are all gone.
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Step 1: Mounting Options
In order for this unit to reach its full potential use it must be secured to an up right structure such as a wall. It is not recommended to be used on either the front or the back of the door. This is because door slamming during or after a heated family exchange of ideas can result in many of the stored keys being left in a very disorganized state with possible loss resulting..
In other words it’s gotta be screwed to a wall.
The basic mounting kit that comes with the key rack includes 2 holes drilled into the board and a couple of screws to hold it to whatever. These 2 screws that are provided have been previously used and are not
necessarily the same length, but they are mostly straight. We do have many screw options if you need something different.
You may want to choose the improved mounting rack option which is 2 new screws both the same length. To get the improved pack add $.59 to the price of the rack.
A deluxe mounting option is also available and that consists of 2 key slots cut into the back of the board by our highly skilled carpenter. This option eliminates the need to have the screws put through the board but instead you put the screws into the wall and hang the rack on the screw heads, which you leave sticking out of the wall. The screw heads fit perfectly into the slots, provided you get them in the right place. We can provide you instructions on how to do that if you need help. Two new screws are provided for this purpose in this deluxe hanging option. If you have one of those really fancy walls made with that sheet-rock stuff we offer an upgraded deluxe option which consists of 2 wall anchors to use instead of the standard screws.
The deluxe mounting option with standard screws is $2.99 extra. The upgraded deluxe mounting kit with wall anchors is $5.02
Please select what options you want when you call to place your order.
Step 2: Hook Options
The standard key rack model comes with a set of specially recycled hooks for keys. These consist of — well they are nails that have been recovered from other places. There are several options available for the key hooks.
The standard model comes with nails that are a little on the small side and not bent so much. An deluxe upgrade to the key hooks is available which consists of larger nails that are bent a lot more to be somewhere in the area of 90 degrees. This upgrade can handle keys of larger size and because of the custom bent part, specially done by our skilled craftsman, the keys have less of a tendency to fall off. This upgrade is highly recommended and only costs $1.98 extra. As part of this upgrade we include 2 double headed nails which gives you extra capacity and helps to keep things from getting tangled. Also included in this option is at least 2 screws instead of nails. Just because they look fancier.
The Cap option.
If you sometimes feel the need to hang your cap up you can get the special cap option for the key rack. This option consists of a large bolt put through the board so you have a peg to hang a hat on. This cap option/ upgrade is only $2.27 extra cause bolts are expensive and harder to find than nails.
Step 3: Yet More Options
Special emergency ammo option.
For a small extra few you can this option added. With this option you will always have a few extra rounds close at hand for those special moments. Please note: this option is not recommended for households with small children or unstable adults. Also you have to supply your own bullets partly because the USPS gets upset if you ship it through the mail.
As the pictures show there are many other little options that you can add on to make your special key rack even more useful. The rack is sturdy enough to hold many pounds of extra keys.
Step 4: A Specail Add on – the Emergency Universal Key Kit.
This is a special item in addition to your deluxe key rack that adds value and versatility to your needs.
It features a small hammer, just right for those little windows that sometime prevent you getting where you need to be. There is also a small slim pry bar that is extra handy at times, especially for windows. And also included is a AARP card that sometimes works for locks. It is recommended that you round out this rack with a good flashlight cause you never know what is creeping around at night.
Special note —– I no longer provide the tools for this rack. There was a large family dispute that happened over a certain person complaining that his tools kept going missing. It became apparent that I had a choice of continuing to supply the tools for this add on or needing to find another place to live. I chose free rent so you can fill in with your own choice of tools now.
To complete your order just call the house and ask for Mom. She will figure out your final price. It usually is related to how well the chickens are laying.
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